Some women really can’t understand how their relationships end up badly. After all, these women don’t argue at all with their husbands. This fact should be an alarm in itself. If you NEVER disagree, you probably aren’t being honest or worse, you are not saying anything.
Silence in a relationship. It’s poison for you and your partner because usually when you’ve reached the point of silence and just not wanting to deal with your partner on any type of meaningful communicative way, you’re in big trouble and could be headed for a break-up or separation.
So how can I know if we are being silent? You’ll know if your relationship is in trouble if you and your partner haven’t been talking much about your interests or argued lately. You connection is lost. You or your partner chose to be silent over having to deal with negative conversation killers.
Why can this be a poison? A debate would mean that both parties are trying to be heard. They are trying to get their points across and they are trying to convince their partners of something. So both of you have your opinions out in the open and both of you know where the other stands. With silence, no one knows where the other stands. So you would resort to guesses and assumptions. And we all know those can lead to chaos.
So what can I do about it? Relationship silence is actually easy to resolve. You just have to start talking again. The biggest hurdle is for someone to take the first step. The second is to begin to understand why you both shut down to begin with. What was the last big argument you had? What did both of you say? If the silence in your relationship is beyond your abilities to repair, don’t lose hope. You might need the help of an impartial person like a mediator, religious leader, or therapist.
A Quick Tip. If you fear to make the first move, just ask yourself “what am I scared of?” What would the worst case scenario be if I demanded to be heard? What would my partner do?
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